Hello, how is your day going?
My day here has been fairly productive, with a crafty flavour throughout.
Since my little life restructure earlier in the year where I freed up a lot of time, I have been able to be a lot more creative and put more ideas into reality. The down side of this is I find I am starting lots of different things at the same time, so have now got about 9 projects at various stages of completion!
And I still have a heap of new things I want to start !
No! I must finish some of the stuff I am working on, I seem to have lots of 'works in progress' type posts, and not so many finished 'tadah' moments!
The other thing I am finding with all this daytime, peaceful crafting, is that I have lots of time to think about things in my life, and that is not always a great thing!
We have a great extended family, and we spend lots of good times together, but over the last couple of years one relationship in particular has become quite dysfunctional, and is taking up a lot of emotional energy from the rest of the family.
I am really a pacifist, confrontation is just not my thing, so there is a lot of head shaking and wondering what can be done to improve the situation.
I am thinking a lot about how easy it is for relationships that seem like they will always be there to change into something else entirely.
About how people can change, how actions can be misread and twisted to fit an agenda, how what looks like a molehill to me can look like a mountain to someone else.
How do I comfort other members of the family who are especially
hurt by this relationship breakdown?
How do you explain your views when there is no want to listen?
How do you stay strong in the face of self righteousness and blame?
What would I even say to this person if I did have a face to face?
Do I push on giving the benefit of the doubt, or just call a spade a spade and face the reality that you can't maintain a relationship when it is only wanted by one side. Cut your loses and move on. Easier said than done in a family that used to be tight.
Crochet time gives me plenty of time to mull over this stuff, but it hasn't really given me any answers other than you can never really know what makes other people tick!
I'm sure if I think long enough about this I will come up with a happy ending for all of us, but I am just not sure if the feeling will be reciprocated!
Anyhoo, you don't really want to hear about my family dramas, but sometimes it is good to write things down just to get them out of your head. You know what I mean?
Please feel free to ignore the babble above! I won't go on about this anymore, but it is just something that is on my mind a fair bit at the moment!
Back to the crochet, I have to say I am loving the diamond pattern! I think I have found my quick, user upper of left over yarn pattern, and I have visions of a beautiful harlequin blanket at the end. I tried the hexipuffs for a quick make, but I found the double pointed needles really fiddly and gave up after a few. These diamonds are really easy and quick and are turning out quite lovely. I will post more about these I am sure!
We have started the school holidays today, so I am hoping to get a lot of crafting done over the next couple of weeks and knock a few of my half done projects over.
We are having a quite Easter this year, just mooching around here, so it will be nice to have a bit of chilled out family time.
Have you got plans for the holidays?
Are you making anything fun at the moment?
Anyway, that's probably enough from me tonight!
Have a great Easter break! Don't eat too much chocolate! (is there even such a thing?) :)
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi, Jules!
ReplyDeleteIt is very normal wanting to ease your mind by sharing, there is no harm to us, your readers, but we can understand also that everyone have their ups and downs. maybe we sometimes try to hide behind that hip of yarn, and pretend that all is well when it's not. You can't do this all the time. I hope your family issues will work out,and you will be at full peace and happiness again.
I like what you are working on now, I myself have blanket in my WIP.
Have a nice day!
Anna
I have learnt having time to think can be dangerous!! I have had too much time on my own thinking and mulling my family situations over and over and unfortunately come up with nothing. I have found the best option and this might seem really selfish to some is to look after number 1 and your immidiate family, children parents etc. You can't choose your family as we all know, I don't know where it is written that if we are members of the same family we need to agree and get on. Unfortunately life doesn't work like that. Don't try and make sense of peoples actions you will drive yourself mad. Think of yourself and those who mean the most to you and leave it at that. I spent to long trying to make sense of 2 peoples actions in my family that have caused me a lot of upset and hurt and that I still don't comprehend, the result now being I have had countless sleepless nights, days pulling out my hair, upset, medication and now I am seeing a councilor!!! Are these people worth that?..........NO!!!!!
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done but speaking from experiance leave it now.
Stick to your crafting but rather than the peace and quiet stick on a movie, the radio or blast out a CD but don't over think.
Anyway enough of that. Crocheting looking lovely, love the idea of a harelquin blanket. Looking forward to seeing that.
Best wishes
NIcky x
I just wanted to say that I just love your blog. And the family "babble" stuff...We've all been there and it is good to just get it out sometimes. I've done it myself. I've discovered over the years that the family members I was closer to and knew most about really weren't who I thought they were. Keep your chin up! You're doin great!
ReplyDeleteHope writing about your troubles has helped and hope time spent with your close loved ones over the school break will help. My philosophy is you can only do so much so I'm sure the person causing you anguish knows you care but it sounds like for now you have done enough so take a little step back.
ReplyDeleteAs always I love all of your crochet projects and when I see you have done a new post it always brightens my day.
Happy Easter x
Your crochet work is such an inspiration and the colours so lovely ; few more ta-daa posts would make me happy for sure. Wish you the very best. GAia.
ReplyDeleteI have really been enjoying your blog and was sorry to hear about your family troubles. Its true, when once close relationships take a turn, understanding why is not easy. My only advice is to Love them, no matter what. Stay true to who you are, and when they are ready, ( and this may take a while ) they will come to you if you ALWAYS keep the door open. Try to love them, I know its hard, but it works. This is something they might not even be aware of, but you will. ( Experience talking ) As for your projects I know what you mean, I am new to the blogging world and am in the process of making some space for myself in our little home. I have discovered many many projects I have started and have simply not finished .... hopefully like you I will get to them, eventually. ;) Good Luck ! and the best of luck with your family. Family is important, they are the only thing in life that is forever.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your worries; that can take a lot of energy. Stay true to yourself and prioritize. This is costing you loads of energy, while probably some of the other parties do not even realise they are leaning heavily on you, or that their lack of interest causes you pain. It is not your responsibility to be the glue to hold the family together and people do not have the right to manouvre you in that position; in that way they are making you responsible for what they percieve as a problem. This is impossible for you to solve, because you are not the one who said/ did...., neither are you the one that did not listen/ did not do....
ReplyDeleteI would suggest to love all of your family, be there for who needs it, but stick to your boundaries. Do not allow people to make you pick sides and when it had been enough complaining and it is bringing you down: tell them! Some people need to be told to stop, otherwise they keep depressing everyone around them.
In some cases people just need some time, and others need to be told to let go or get over it. And leave you to think happy thoughts...
Those colours look bright and happy enough...
thank you for sharing- I hope you find comfort and wisdom from our comments!
all the best,
Ilse
I love that you have so much creative time! Like you, I seem to have too many projects going, a huge to-do list, but not quite enough time. Its so good to see all your colorful yarny pictures. I just imagine I'm taking a trip to sit at your table and sip tea while taking in all your crafty endeavors. Family issues can be emotionally draining. Rest from the worry and be good to yourself. xo
ReplyDeleteYou have a big creative to do list like me....I think I have just about the same amount of projects, love them all and still have more on my mind for the holidays! I think it is normal!! For me finding the right colors is everything and working with those colors on any given day. Just enjoy your craft and you will get to everything in due course!
ReplyDeleteOn another note, no worries. We are all friends here, and we all have crappy days! Things come up and I certainly have mine!
I hope you and yours have a lovely Easter and not too much chocolate now!! x
Jules, your blog is for anything you like and that means the ups and downs of life. Families are funny, they create a lot of Joy but also a lot of frustration. Often when I pick up needles or a hook it gives me time to thin k, I am not a very religious person but I am spiritual so I pray in my own way for the best for everyone involved. If nothing else it gives me a bit a peace.
ReplyDeleteSending you a hug,
Meredith
Life? it comes in all shapes and sizes. Enjoy the holidays and if you want to just laugh out loud look at this ridiculous creation...
ReplyDeletehttp://joeveryday19.blogspot.co.uk
Hope you all have a lovely Easter with plenty of chocolate, I'm a bit like you with lots of ongoing projects to finish, so I was pleased yesterday to finally finished my crocheted Spring Time Flower wreath in time for Easter, it had it's Ta-Dah moment today :0) I hope the Easter bunny hops you're way .x
ReplyDeleteClare
http://summerhousebythesea.blogspot.co.uk/
Hi, I stumbled across you blog and just love it. I am sorry to hear of your troubles I can so relate I think we all can at some point. I always find the truth is the best route to travel eventually if you don't say the truths, they find there way upon the tracks one day. I so hear you on projects, I personally just all over the map with my knitting and crocheting. Right now I am making my first Grannie Square blanket and have no idea if I am doing the colors right or even if there is a right or wrong. I get a lot of traffic at my blog yet no one has responded to let me know. I have added you to my favorite blogs as I love yours. Happy Easter, eat a lot of chocolate it really fresh on Holidays.
ReplyDeleteFamily and relationship stuff, sometimes it just leaves us shaking our heads. I suppose we can only really be sure of one thing and that is how we choose to respond to difficult situations in life. It sounds like you are handling this one well. Wishing you all the best with this hiccup.
ReplyDeleteWishing you and your family a lovely Easter.
Anne xx
Thank you so very much for sharing this, it helps. :)
ReplyDeleteI really feel for you on this family matter, it's happened to our family and if you'd said it to me a few years ago I'd have said "never". But some things just get so you can't put up with it any more and it seems that it's always the most blunt people who are "so sensitive" when the same sort of things are said to them!! Bon Courage!!
ReplyDeleteKathy, FRANCE
Hi There, WOW!!! 9 WIP!!!Can't wait for some of your tah-dah moments!!! Your work table looks filled with interesting projects!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove
AMarie
I know what you mean about tricky relationships and some of them can be our most dear. One of my relatives and I have "agreed to disagree" because our philosophies are different. And, to make it work, we will not be drawn into any discussion about those topics. Sometimes it's best to just walk away and do something else for awhile.
ReplyDeleteAnd it sounds like you have the same wonderful feelings about beginning a project as me: I love beginnings! Not so much the consistent effort because I'm drawn to different things at different times but those projects will all be finished eventually (or so I keep telling myself!)
Hi Jules, I too am an overthinker. My relationship with my brother and his wife deteriorated a few years ago after being pretty tight. I too think it was part of my sister-in-laws agenda which i don't quite understand. Lots of things were misconstrued and sides were taken. I too found the fight too hard and for my health let the relationship go. Sometimes it is better to let go in the long run. My sister keeps in contact with them and we have been civil at family functions (funerals mostly) but the relationship will never again be one of friendship and that is okay. Acceptance helps. Its good to share the craft but so much of our craft reflects our life - the comfort of a blanket finished or baking buns.love to you. Leigh from Melbourne, Vic
ReplyDeleteHi Jules. I have been visiting your lovely blog off and on for a while now but am not usually one to comment much. Today I though diffently because broken relationships can be so difficult and painful to work through. One thing I have learnt - oops I mean I am still learning - is to not try second guessing what they other person may be thinking. Too often we are wrong - or at least that is one of the things I have/am learning. Second guessing starts all sorts of senarios going on in your mind that might be way off track. Just keep on loving them, give them space as needed, and keep on being the great wife and Mum that you are and if the opportunity comes, sit down and talk to them. I hope you might find something useful in all that - if not, chuck it!
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